Adam Moorad

HEART OF OCCIDENT

Pro­logue

It was the dry end of a ben­der. The earth was scorched and fis­sured. The mass­es ele­vat­ed the fools into rich heroes. The sky rained mis­siles. Night became per­pet­u­al. The land was ash, the air dust.

I raked for pok­er chips in the rub­ble of Harrah’s. A scrawny blonde strum­pet approached me by the slots. She was cataract blind and led forth with a leash by a See­ing Eye dog. She bat­ted her use­less eyes and smiled, offer­ing her self for $100.

I thumped my chips. “How’s $50 sound?”

The woman han­dled my face a few awk­ward ways. “I’ll take $75,” she said.

“Can you spot me $25?” I said.

The dog glow­ered and flared its teeth.

The woman mulled her sweaty brow and fished through her corset. “I wish I could,” she said. She pro­duced a blood­stained han­ky and swabbed her neck grease. “But I’m broke.”

The dog cocked its ears and yowled as if it detect­ed some incom­ing we couldn’t from the heavens.

A Rebel mor­tar scud a jet fuel flare through the under­bel­lies of cloud.

The dog dugs its nails into the asphalt until the leash went taut and pulled the woman away.

I crawled inside a drain pipe and wait­ed for the boom.

I.

I fell in with some gut­ter punks from the Plains. There were six or sev­en of them out­side RadioShack sit­ting some­what apart, crouched on the curb, eat­ing Dori­tos with raunchy fin­gers and watch­ing Tom­a­hawks stream through the noc­turne with an autis­tic fascination.

A girl with a nose ring stood and yodeled, pluck­ing a dent­ed ukulele. She had a magen­ta zit on her navel and a mop of sable dread­locks tied back with a pol­ka-dot­ted ker­chief that encom­passed her entire noggin.

When she fin­ished, I stood and applaud­ed while the rest sat and leered at rock­ets fly­ing from far­away silos into the atmos­phere. The girl blushed and tip­toed forth like a beat­nik har­le­quin in a hemp gabardine.

She offered me her hand. I took it and from there she led me into a junk­yard where jalop­ies rose in goth­ic stacks around us, their hoods loom­ing above the com­post like hub-capped golems.

“Where are we going?” I said.

The girl looked over her shoul­der and the wind went among her braids. “Camp­ing,” she said, her face com­posed a mis­chie­vous grin.

She chopped her ukulele through the jim­son this­tle as we bush­whacked a path to a barb­wire bound­ary. The fenc­ing was clogged with shreds of wind­blown refuse. A dead cat hung like a strange dark laun­dry, every ver­te­brae exposed, its mouth half-open. I exam­ined the car­cass close­ly and iden­ti­fied a fist-sized bul­let hole in the hide on which the crows and mag­gots had mealed.

“I’m get­ting kind of tired,” I said, my voice tense and pen­sive. “I think I should turn back.”

“You can’t go,” the girl said. She held my hand and squeezed. “Who will pro­tect me from the Rebels?”

She crouched through a small fold where the fence had been pulled from its abut­ment and she looked back at me from the oth­er side. “Please come with me,” she said, bat­ting her lashes.

I was duped by her flir­ty ener­gy and pro­ceed­ed to squeeze through the thresh­old, catch­ing my dun­ga­rees on the fence’s spiny mail.

I made out a sparse encamp­ment in a gul­ly where a few upturned paint cans encir­cled a small fire pit. A makeshift teepee rose behind the pit pitched in a quad of broom­sticks and a few reams of dew soaked butch­er paper. The site sat on the lip of a small fen shim­mer­ing in cat­tail sil­hou­ette, a white moon ensconced with­in like a great pale deity.

“This is it,” the girl said.

“How long have you lived here?” I said.

She shrugged and let her hair down. “Since I ran away from home.”

“Why did you come here?” I said.

“The orphan­age was too crowd­ed,” she said.

She drew the tent flap and entered. I fol­lowed and we hun­kered on a foam mat, our frail bod­ies spoon­ing warmth amongst the eggshell nubs as the toads belched swamp gas in the mud cakes around us.

II.

A boot kicked my ribs and my sides twinged in a split­ting pain. A spray of warn­ing shots stripped the teepee sheets from its but­tress. A troop of foot sol­diers sur­round­ed us and from their Hes­s­ian caps I guessed they were mer­ce­nar­ies hired by the hand of some Fourth Reich. One held the girl’s ukulele in the air and smashed it on a stack of VCRs.

The boot swung for­ward and kicked me again. My gut explod­ed in a spasm and I began to dry heave. I felt a hand clutch my throat and hold me up in the air. My head filled with blood as I flailed my arms.

I could see the girl run­ning away in my periph­ery but she tripped and went tum­bling into a thick­et. Three hench­men pur­sued and piled on top of her, then dragged her back to camp by the dreads.

We were blind­fold­ed, cuffed and stuffed into a Humvee then dri­ven to the har­bor where a frigate was docked and the air reeked of dead marine life. We were shack­led and shucked into tan­ger­ine jump­suits and walked into a brig with rifles point­ed at our backs.

The girl grabbed the bars and sulked. Her body hung in a jilt­ed pose.

“Godamnit,” she sighed. “I just can’t get a break.”

“You have a beau­ti­ful voice,” I said.

“You’re just say­ing that,” she said. She cov­ered her mouth bash­ful­ly and sniggered.

“I’m seri­ous,” I said. “Your yodel hits every note.”

“What do you know about singing?”

“I sing all the time,” I said.

“What’re your favorites?”

I stood and cleared my throat. “I like the Oldies,” I mim­ic­ked in a weak falset­to. I curled my lips and swiveled, thrust­ing my hips forward.

The girl eyes dart­ed up and down the cell walls. “These chains make me horny,” she said. She smirked a lit­tle and moved towards me like a weak mag­net, shed­ding her jump­suit among the clank­ing tan­gle of her manacles.

My face was dry and she wet my cracked lips with hers. Her alien skin formed an aloe husk around me as our chains knot­ted and we made love like pin­ing teens in the brig between bunk and bedpan.

She glowed with a post-coital numb­ness and I point­ed to her zit.

“You need to pop that pim­ple,” I said.

The girl stud­ied her navel. “I think it’s an ingrown hair,” she said.

“What­ev­er it is,” I said. “It looks infected.”

III.

A bio­haz­ard crew barged into the cell and pulled us apart by our shack­les. Their rub­ber suits squeaked as I squirmed against the restraints of their latex gloves.

The girl thrashed and fist-fought and the men zapped her with cat­tle prods until she faint­ed. They searched all our cav­i­ties and spack­led our limbs in lye, then stood back, chuck­ling as the lice fled our every orifice.

I writhed across the slip­pery tile. The girl lay beside me uncon­scious. The men made way for a sumo-sized man in an ebony visor. He entered the brig schlep­ping an enor­mous hose. He widened his stance as he lev­eled the noz­zle upon us and unleashed a spray of such force we went reel­ing against the wall, lash­ing our naked limbs in a cold bilge blast.

The sumo cut the water off and began back­ing away. The girl grad­u­al­ly came to and rolled over, hack­ing up a curd of chum.

“What about a tele­phone call?” she mus­tered, crouch­ing on her knees and knuck­les, her under­bite pronged like a bar­racu­da, her eyes small against the sting­ing grit.

The sumo stopped and stirred through an ante­ri­or com­part­ment on his rub­ber suit. He turned and casu­al­ly tossed the girl a cuff key and a quarter.

“You’re free to go,” he said, his robot­ic voice smoth­ered by the muf­fle of his visor. He made a husky piv­ot, heiled his charges and slow­ly slith­ered out of the cell.

IV.

The dock was full of ragged natives, women and chil­dren hurl­ing rot­ten fruit and rub­ble at the frigate, their dearth faces wrought with an insur­gent syn­tax blun­der­ing in the flare of burn­ing torches.

A white fog hung in the air and blend­ed with bits of beer and sali­va spat­ter­ing from the foam­ing mouths of young men in cam­ou­flage crash­ing through the riot in spo­radic tear­gas waves.

We fought our way through the for­ay to a phone booth on a cor­ner where lep­er chil­dren ped­dled fly­ers for a USO go-go show in a clutched flock of gauze.

The girl rolled the quar­ter into the slot and spun the rotary with a skit­tish cursive.

The phone rang and rang until a dis­tort­ed voice answered in a warp of static.

The girl cupped her hand around the mouth­piece and spoke qui­et­ly for a time and then hooked the phone on the receiver.

“Who was that?” I said.

The girl weaseled her fin­ger in the emp­ty coin slot.

“That was my moth­er,” she said.

“I though you were an orphan?” I said.

“I have a moth­er,” she said. “A supe­ri­or one.”

V.

A nun rolled up in a grem­lin. Her cor­net flapped in the breeze through her win­dow as she wan­gled the gear into park. There was a bald baby doll nes­tled in a wick­er bas­ket on the front seat beside her. It was wrapped in a wad of white ter­rycloth, its rub­ber snout jut­ting like the muz­zle of some human-wal­la­by interspecies.

The girl leaned through the win­dow, scooped the doll up and began to sway.
I watched her for a moment and then looked at the nun. She wore a pair of bifo­cals and a stingy expres­sion that a dug hole through my stomach.

“Whom do we have here?” she said.

“This is my friend,” the girl said.

The nun’s face cloud­ed. She scowled at the girl and motioned her hith­er. As the girl low­ered her head into the grem­lin, the nun snatched her by the ear and pulled the girl’s head inch­es from her mouth. The girl held the doll tight­ly as the nun spoke stern­ly until the girl nodded.

The nun released her and stirred through her habit impa­tient­ly. She bran­dished a sil­ver tin of snuff and prompt­ly popped the cap, pinch­ing her­self a small con­i­cal and mak­ing it van­ish instan­ta­neous­ly beneath a sin­gle nos­tril. She cor­nered her eyes and spat in my direction.

I held my hands up in a sur­ren­der­ing motion. “I’m not what you think I am,” I said, step­ping back­wards. “I haven’t got a Rebel bone about me.”

The nun’s eyes caught a rosary hang­ing from the rearview mir­ror and she pursed her lips as if tak­ing the sym­bol­ic beads into her own considerations.

“You can sit shot­gun,” she said. She squint­ed and spat again. “I’m going to keep my eyes on you.”

The girl replaced the doll in the bas­ket and set the bas­ket in the back­seat before crawl­ing in beside it. I climbed into the grem­lin and once I was buck­led the nun floored the ped­al and the engine purred like a pan­ther lurch­ing through the bog­gy night.

“Thanks for the ride,” I said.

The nun turned to me and in a recital-like tone she spoke: “How kind the Good Samar­i­tan,” she began, glanc­ing at her blind spot. “To him who fell among the thieves.”

“That was beau­ti­ful,” the girl said. “Is that a bible verse?”

“It’s a hymn,” she said.

“What does it mean?” I said.

“The Lord encour­ages hos­pi­tal­i­ty,” she said. She rode the brakes through a bend in the road and the grem­lin heaved for­ward, bounc­ing the rosary against the windshield.

“Where are we head­ed?” I said.

“Why?” the nun said. “Do you need to be somewhere?”

“I’m not try­ing to get where I’m going,” I said.

“Which is where?” she said.

“No where,” I said.

“Well you’re still alive,” she said. “You can thank God for that. Have you talked with Him lately?”

“It’s been a while,” I said.

Her eyes grazed my shoul­der and she pro­ceed­ed to speak of Sodom and the lost tribes of Israelites, cit­ing the gospel with a mar­velous dex­ter­i­ty as she spoke in sooth of the Armageddon.

“Now is come sal­va­tion, and strength, and the king­dom of our God,” she said. “Rev­e­la­tion 12:10.”

I looked ahead and held an imper­vi­ous expression.

“Are you a Believ­er?” the nun said.

“I’m unde­cid­ed,” I said.

“Even Christ had moments of doubt,” she said.

“I doubt it,” I said.

“Fear not for I am with you,” she said. “Isa­iah 41:10.”

I said nothing.

“I think we should pray,” she said.

I scratched my neck hes­i­tant­ly. “I wouldn’t know what to say,” I said.

“What’s the mat­ter?” she said.

“I’ve got the dev­il in me,” I said.

She waved her fin­ger like a dag­ger in my direc­tion. “Just repeat after me.”

“Okay,” I said. “Go ahead.”

“Dear Jesus,” she said.

“Dear Jesus.”

“Loud­er.”

DEAR JESUS.”

“I give every­thing to you now.”

“I GIVE EVERYTHING TO YOU NOW.”

“Because you are Lord.”

BECAUSE YOU ARE LORD.”

I repent for every sin.”

“I REPENT FOR EVERY SIN.”

“No mat­ter what my sins are.”

NO MATTER WHAT MY SINS ARE.”

“In Jesus name.”

IN JESUS NAME.”

“Amen.”

AMEN.”

“Amen,” the girl echoed.

The nun was per­spir­ing pro­fuse­ly and a blue vein in her tem­ple pulsed like a fuse as she gasped for breath. ““You’ve just received the Holy Spir­it,” she announced elat­ed­ly. “How do you feel?”

I took a deep breath and palmed the expanse of my gut. The sew­er air stunk of dead seafood. “I feel radioactive.”

The nun smiled. Her beady face beamed with con­tent as the grem­lin rolled like a grenade through the slum dusk.

I turned in my seat and regard­ed the girl and doll. The baby’s vacant expres­sion con­jured an unset­tled sensation.

“What’s with the doll?” I said.

The girl posi­tioned the doll’s skull against her mam­ma­ry and sim­u­lat­ed an instinc­tu­al nurse. “It’s my baby,” she said, cradling the doll in a pro­fane car­i­ca­ture and mur­mur­ing con­tent­ed­ly, and in that fleet­ing moment there was peace on earth.

“Why are you doing that?” I said.

The girl nes­tled the doll against her emp­ty pap. “I’m sup­posed to until it starts teething,” she said.

“How old are you?” I said.

“Six­teen,” she said, wrin­kling her face and naugh­ti­ly winking.

“Jesus Christ,” I said.

The nun thwacked the back of the skull and my head fell for­ward. “You praise His glo­ry,” she said.

Sor­ry,” I said. I dabbed the back of my scalp. I felt blood on my fin­gers and the nun thwacked me again.

Right now,” she said, her voice bru­tal, her face twist­ed and fero­cious. “Do it.”

I closed my eyes and start­ed laugh­ing. “Hal­leluiah,” I said. I pic­tured a laser halo above my head as it bled like a lazy riv­er. “Praise the Lord.”

VI.

We came upon a West­ern Union where a pride of bums nib­bled gov­ern­ment cheese around a pud­dle lit with knif­ing streetlight.

“Hold on every­one,” the nun said. She revved the motor and braked across three lanes. The grem­lin hit the curb and ramped over the side­walk, land­ing in a reck­less skid toward the bum con­gre­ga­tion, their zomb­i­fied pupils con­tract­ing in the head­lights as the nun cut a wake through the pud­dle and cack­led as the hobos scat­tered in every direction.

We entered a parched super­mar­ket land­scape. The smell of sul­fur stank in the dark wind. Con­crete encom­passed our entire scope. The nun seemed cer­tain of our route as she drove into the inner­most zone of the bar­ren and killed the gremlin.

I peered into the dark and wait­ed for my eyes to adjust. Crick­ets chirped in the dead tufts of grass some­where in the abound­ing night. I felt the nun’s hand feel­ing its way across my crotch in the black­ness and I jumped, thump­ing my head on the ceiling.

“Oops,” the nun said. “I thought you were the glove box.” She grap­pled with the dash until a com­part­ment fell open and ignit­ed a tiny dome light.

A long-bar­reled six-shot revolver sat in a fat file of park­ing tick­ets. The nun took hold of the butt and spun the mag­a­zine sev­er­al times on her finger.

“That’s quite a piece,” I said.

Her face swelled with pride. “God bless you child,” she said. “How kind of you to say so.”

“It looks heavy.”

The nun re-gripped the weapon and weighed it in her hand. “It’s about five pounds loaded,” she said. She huffed on the cham­ber and buffed the muz­zle on her white coif.

I rubbed my eyes and sur­veilled the expanse of tank-tread shop­ping carts strewn along the rim of a ditch where poi­son pooled in a black chasm. A met­al fac­to­ry framed the hori­zon, its bro­ken win­dows choked with grapevine wilt.

A fer­al a cat emerged in a grav­el swale, skulk­ing through the debris as it picked its way among cusps of brick and bro­ken glass. The nun cranked her win­dow down and drew sight upon the animal.

“What are you doing?” I said.

“God’s work,” she said.

“What does God’s work got to do with cats?” I said.

“They’re a nui­sance,” she said. She stuck her head out the win­dow, plugged one nos­tril and shot a rock­et of snot onto the asphalt. “They’re Rebels. Devils.”

She lev­eled the pis­tol and thumped back the ham­mer, brac­ing the bar­rel across her forearm.

My throat was tight with excite­ment and fear. I clasped my hands against my ears and watched the nun’s fin­ger tease the trig­ger, her mouth water­ing in a mind­less throe.

The cat perched upon a bunker and began to tongue-bathe. The nun pulled and the gun made an enor­mous explo­sion. I watched the bul­let spark as it skipped across the pave­ment. A lime green smoke filled the grem­lin and cleared quick­ly as if sucked by some mael­strom out in the void where the cat lay abro­gate hav­ing spun off the wall into a rift where it lay kicking.

My ears rang sharply, the buzz con­sum­ing my entire head.

The nun squint­ed in the cat’s direc­tion. “Balder­dash,” she mut­tered, dust­ing gun­pow­der from her cloak. “I only nicked it.”

I was dis­ori­ent­ed and I held my head in one hand and my stom­ach in the other.

“Why did you do that?” I said as a wave of nau­sea swal­lowed me.

The nun set the ham­mer at half cock, spun the cylin­der and low­ered the ham­mer again. “Amen, I say to you,” she said. She smiled, her loath­some brow pleat­ing like dol­phin. “All these things will come upon this gen­er­a­tion,” she said. “Matthew 23:36.”

Epi­logue

I heard it whis­tle through predawn dark. A mute pop and a bomb burst arc­ing like a light­en­ing strike, soak­ing the gator-skinned earth in white-hot strobe.

The grem­lin flipped over and land­ed on its head. Dirt gushed through the win­dows. I suf­fo­cat­ed until my body went soft like a vegetable.

The nun dug me up and applied a fever­ish Heim­lich, but my heart had stopped. I could see the girl behind her laps­ing in the napalm, her face com­plete­ly flat as she whis­pered into the doll’s rub­ber head.


Adam Moorad is a writer, sales­man, and moun­taineer. His work has appeared­wide­ly in print and online. He lives in Brook­lyn. Vis­it him here: adamadamadamadamadam.blogspot.com